Friday, July 31, 2009

Maritess Vs. The Superfriends



Lumang luma na to pero nakakatawa lang talaga. Big fan ako ni Rex! For the original visit here.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Isang Tribute Sa Mga Yaya


1. Yaya buys food at McDo.

Crew: "Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?"
Yaya: "Puwede sa table?"
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2. Kid: "Yaya look, boats!"
Yaya: "Dows are not boats, dey're yachts."
Kid: "Yaya, spell yachts?"
Yaya: "Yor rayt, dey are boats."
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3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor's office.
Doc: "Bottlefed?"
Woman: " Breastfed po."
(Doctors squeezes woman's breasts repeatedly)
Doc: "Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh."
Woman: "Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!"
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4. The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten.
She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor:
"Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!"
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5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.
Our yaya came back and said: "Ma'am, wala pong Inquirer
kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!"
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6. Yaya: "Huhuhu?"
Ate: "O, bakit ka umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!"
Ate: "Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat? "
Yaya: "Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi."
Ate: "O, bakit ka di makatulog?"
Yaya: "Kasi po may pinoproblema ako?"
Ate: "Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?"
Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!"
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7. (Earlier) Mom: "Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!"
(Later) Son: "Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?"
Yaya: "Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!"
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8. Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform.
I angrily asked her, "Paano mo naman nasunog to?"
She answered: "Secret!"
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9. After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out :
"Ang pangit naman, happy ending!"
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10. Sir: "Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape. Yung decaf ha!"
Yaya: "Siyempre naman, alangan namang de-baso!"
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11. Mom: "Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!"
Yaya: "Ano po lulutuin ko?"
Mom: "It's up to you."
(During dinner) Mom: "Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?"
Yaya: "Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
sabi niyo, 'kitsup tuyo'!"
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12. Our neighbor's yaya: "Junjun, chew your mouth!"
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13. Our yaya sa sari-sari store: "Miss isang Coke in can
at isang Sprite na Coke in can?"
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14. SIR: "Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!"
INDAY: "Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?"
SIR: "Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!"
INDAY: "Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin?kapkeyk? "
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15. I once asked my yaya where the Netherlands is located.
She answered: "Diba dun nakatira si Peter Pan?"
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16. "O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!"
Ate: "Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!"
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17. We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice bottle.
Sabi namin: "Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?"
Yaya: "Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, 'concentrate' ?"
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18. Neighbor's yaya telling the dog to climb down the stairs:
"Down to earth! Down to earth!"
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19. My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio.
Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,
"Ma'am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!"
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20. We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya's son.
So one day I was reviewing him: "The Earth is the 3rd planet from
the sun.
Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?" His mom, our yaya, answered:
"Parang Watson's yata?"
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21. Sir: "Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?"
Yaya: "Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!"
Sir: "Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?"
Yaya: "Gunting, kuya! Gunting!"
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22. Yaya to tricycle driver: "Magkano sa City Hall?"
Driver: "Ikaw lang?" Yaya: "Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?"
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23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)
Kuya: "Yaya?"
Yaya: "Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!"
Kuya: "Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!"
Yaya: "Si Koya naman?nagsa- suggest lang?"
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24. Kid: "Yaya, spell orange?"
Yaya: "Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?"
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25. Midget Yaya who was newly hired:
"Suwerte po kayo, ako ang napili niyo.
At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!"
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26. Yaya to my brother: "Nag tothbrush ka na ng ipin?"
Bro: "Siyempre, alangan namang mag toothbrush ako ng kilikili!"
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27. (after being scolded for breaking her promises):
"Ma'am, hindi na po ako mangangako ulit?promise! "
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28. We had a yaya who claimed she was being courted by a kapre
in her province and wanted to take her to his kingdom.
Her reason for turning down the offer to be his queen?
"Kapre yun ma'am, malaki ang kwan nun! Wag na uy!"
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29. AMO: "Bakit namatay ang aso?"
MAID: "Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap."
AMO: "Nakamamatay ba yun?"
MAID: "Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na."
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30. Yaya picking up the phone saying: " Hilo ?"
We noticed that she was holding the handset ng baligtad.
We told her, "Yaya, baliktad!"
Then Yaya said: "Lohi?"

Friday, July 17, 2009

Isang Makabagbag Damdaming Kwentong Opisina

Kapag wala ang malupet na Boss!
Kapag tinawag ka ng malupet na Boss!
Nasa training o seminar!
Coffee break sa baba!
Pag-uwi ng bahay galing opis!
Malapit na mag 5:30!
Walang pasok may holiday bukas!
Kapag may inutos ang malupet na Boss!
Kapag nalaman na hindi umabot ang report sa deadline *patay kay Boss!
Pagkatapos masabon ng malupet na Boss!

Ugali ng malupet ng Boss habang nag-eexplain ka sa kanya!
Pinagreresign ka ng malupet na Boss!
Sagot sa iyo ng malupet na Boss matapos humingi ng isa pang pagkakataon!
Natanggap mo ang force resignation letter galing sa malupet na Boss!
Ang kinahantungan ng malupet na Boss! hehehe!!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

7 tips para maiba naman ang araw mo



  1. Sikmuraan ang unang taong kasalubong at humingi ng sorry.
  2. Uminom ng pampatulog labanan ito, magexercise.
  3. Tibagin ang bahay gamit ang kutsara at buuin muli.
  4. Himatayin kunwari sa daan, tiyaking may tao.
  5. Tahiin ang puwet at magpatingin sa doctOR
  6. Kurutin ang nakababatang kapatid pagkatapos unahan mong umiyak.
  7. Makapagtitigan sa isda. Huwag titigil hanggat hindi ito kumukurap…
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